FIVE JOKES: 4/6/26
IN THE NEWS: Space Toilet, Games Of Chance, White House Secrets, ICE Schemes, & '60 Minutes'
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Hey. I’m Tim Barnes, it’s Monday in America, and here are FIVE JOKES!
Y’all hear about this?..
The four astronauts aboard the Artemis II mission’s Orion capsule have encountered intermittent complications with their spacecraft’s toilet. And the’ve tried everything from one small flush for man, and one giant flush for mankind.
Native Americans were playing dice and other games of chance many millennia before any known cultures elsewhere. So, take note, future U.S. history books. Turns out the peoples and the casinos were here way before any of us chumps.
After the Minnesota surge, ICE is moving to a quieter enforcement approach. So, next time you see a line outside of a SUPREME shoe store, take an extra beat to make sure people actually comes out.
President Trump's dreams of a White House ballroom have highlighted what was once a relative secret: the construction of a military bunker beneath the now-demolished East Wing. Officials say it’s just “a secure, epmty room, where Jefferey Epstein definitely doesn’t live because he’s totally dead.”
Finally…
News veteran Steve Kroft has revealed why he ‘hated’ working at ‘60 Minutes’—shouting, "DID YOU KNOW THAT’S BASICALLY AN HOUR?!!”
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A JOKE FROM SOMEONE ELSE
White House gossip from Hoff Matthews…
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Yes, Steve- but at best you were only producing a small portion of that hour's content.